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Anal Sex
Other sections on this topic: Fears of Anal Entry | Fears about Performance

First, let me say that the best way to learn about anal intercourse is to do it. Keep in mind that the ways of sharing sex must be developed; they don't spring fully formed into the mind. Yet the basic actions of intercourse are easy and simple, as they are for every kind of sex. That is, all the necessary information is already in you; you need only learn how to bring it out, to overcome any confusions and develop rapport with your partner(s). It's the prohibitions, the guilt and the complexities in our society and each of us that prevent us knowing and doing what we want. Again, it's a matter of good consciousness, feeling relaxed, and wanting to explore, to get into it.

Anal intercourse involves two people, who between them create the pleasures. At any one time, one person will have his penis in the other's ass; this may be reversed later on. One or both (or at certain times neither) persons will be moving. In the anal intercourse I will discuss, both partners want to engage in it, and they cooperate with each other. There's no such thing as a "passive" and an "active" role; there is no dominant and no submissive-these are false labels put on us by hostile outsiders. Ass fucking is an act of creation where two are together. There is a vast flexibility in who can do what, but there is no "one up/one down" mentality unless you want that.

Another myth about anal intercourse is that it's only performed by homosexual men because, quite frankly, neither of them has the proper female equipment to complement the other's genitals. While many gay men do share anal intercourse, many more heterosexual couples and partners also engage in this activity. The reason is the possibility of a new, different, and extremely pleasurable act that can augment or enhance the sexual experience. Saying that only gay men have anal intercourse is like saying that only gay men masturbate- and we ALL know that is completely false. Learning about new techniques or aspects of human sexuality that interest you may seem different, strange, or even wrong, especially if you've made negative connections with them in the past. However, it is very important to keep an open mind and realize that most all forms of sexual activity, no matter how common, are practiced by an amazingly wide variety of people. In this manner, this guide is written for everyone, gays and heterosexual partners and groups alike.

So you want to know how to do it? Here it is: you kneel on your elbows and knees, and relax your ass such that your body wants to take in your partner's erect penis. He kneels directly behind your rear end, facing your way. He bends over you, guiding his lubricated penis to your anus-opening, and then gently pushes it inside as you draw it in. Then he causes his penis to slide up and down inside by thrusting his hips back and forth, while you keep still or rotate you hips in a side-to-side motion.

That's basically it. From the description, you might think the penis person is having all the fun. That's no true. The ass-person may be enjoying even more pleasure. There are two reasons for this: the anus is very sensitive to erotic touch, like the lips; and the inserted penis will massage a small gland behind the testicles, called the prostate. When this gland is touched during sexual arousal, the pleasurable feelings are multiplied in intensity. Thus, during anal intercourse, powerful erotic feelings can flow all through the body around the genitals, anus, and internal organs; the rectum may begin contracting up and down in waves of pleasure, causing an anal orgasm along with the genital one. The penis-person can masturbate his partner; the ass-person can masturbate themself, or the penis-person can even reach around to insert a finger in his partner's anus - many possibilities are open for you to discover exactly what you like to do and enjoy, according to your different wants and moods.

In other words, if you're new to it, it's best to learn in steps and not to expect to know or do everything at once; usually it takes months or years to feel and shape the many potential desires and satisfactions. The basic act is simple, but our culture teaches us to be so inhibited about sex, gay sex, and asses in particular that some confusion may have to be worked through. Once you're over this, new levels of meaning will be open to you.

Where to begin? By being candid with yourself, and that you want to explore, and then finding a partner, a friend, a one-night stand, whatever. You'll probably want to taste both roles, insertor and insertee: you might find one more meaningful for you, or you might like both.

I should mention here that all your explorations are meant as enjoyable adventures and as good experiences. If anything turns into hard work, or if you seem driven to ignore your sensuality, and speed on in haste instead, or get worried and upset, it's time to stop or to start over or talk to someone. You can't force love, it unfolds. Often things have to be learned, but if this is not enjoyable learning it's probably not for you. Curiosity is your best bet here, and leave your seriousness at the door - sodomy is an extra, not a pain in the ass.

First, let me explain the basic position and motions that go with them, then I'll discuss matters about the ass-person, the penis- person. Let me go through each position, the motions that can be used, and its advantages and disadvantages; these, of course, can only be explained approximately, as people vary in what fits for them.

One position I've already described, is with the ass-person crouching down to receive his friend from behind. The advantages are easy and fairly deep entry and freedom of movement. Those of the penis- person include thrusting, grinding (rotating the hips circularly as you'd do to play with a hoola-hoop), rocking (turning the pelvis from left to right), and body motions like swaying from the knees. These motions allow different experiences for both partners. Those of the ass-person include complementary thrusting (the same as for the penis-person, except that your timing and his are slightly off), counter-thrusting (where you push as he pulls), grinding or rocking as he thrusts, and body movements. All these motions are easy to learn, once you feel save enough to try them and someone can help you a little.

The disadvantages of this position are both people having to hold themselves up (getting tired and not having free hands), the penis not pressing too much against the prostate, and not being face to face (if that's important to you).

A variation on this position has the ass-person lying flat on his stomach (with his hips raised a little on a pillow if you like). This allows him to relax more and he has his hands free to do whatever. The Penis-person lies on top and thus also can be more relaxed and have free hands. However, penetration is not as easy and you can't thrust as deeply. Also, the ass-person is weighed down and restricted in how he can move, through the penis-person can still more freely.

From this position, both partners can roll over on their sides, still facing the same way, with one leg drawn up. This position allows bodily relaxation plus free hands to explore and caress. Entry is also easy and fairly deep, and avoids the one person pressing fully on his partner. Movements are somewhat limited, though vigorous thrusting is till easy once you get used to the posture.

An interesting variation on this position has both partners on their sides, but facing each other. Here the penis-person must extend his pelvis between the other's bent legs. This position allow deep entry and a full massage of the prostate. Also the hands and mouths are free, and movement is fairly easy once insertion is made.

Then there is the full-front position, in which the ass-person lies on his back, drawing his knees up to his chest and over the shoulders of the penis-person, who presses down on him fact to face (a pillow can be put under the pelvis to raise it even higher, or the penis-person can push back his friend's feet over his head). This position allows for easy penetration and very deep entry, a good massage of the prostate, plus full movements by the penis- person. However, the ass-person can't move much, though their hands are free.

Another favorite position is a standing one, in which both partners stand up, facing the same way, and the ass-person bends over at the waist, using a wall table, or other support. This can also be done on the knees rather than the feet, say, at the edge of the bed. If both partners are not of the same height at the waist, some adjustment will have to be made. This position is convenient to use outdoors, and allows easy penetration and full movements, if something solid is around to hold on to.

These are the basic positions; many others are also possible. Each is different, and may vary for you in feelings and emotional meaning. You might be specially thrilled by thrusting from behind, wrapping around this backside, stroking his chest and stomach with your hand. Or your love to unite may reach out strongest with him entering you face to face, snug and kissing deeply. What has been mentioned before may imply gay partners, however many women may experience just as much pleasure through anal intercourse as men, if not more so, even without the added stimulation of the prostate.

Other sections on this topic: Fears of Anal Entry | Fears about Performance
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