<!--
var tip = new Array()
tip[0] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Personally I know nothing about sex because I have always been married.&quot; -Zsa Zsa Gabor</font>"
tip[1] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.&quot; -Gloria Leonard</font>"
tip[2] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;There's no shortage of pussy- it's just the delivery system that's messed up.&quot; -Dr. Roy V. Schenk</font>"
tip[3] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.</font>"
tip[4] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.&quot; -Confucius</font>"
tip[5] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;He who asks is a fool for 5 minutes, but he who does not remains a fool forever.&quot; -Chinese Proverb</font>"
tip[6] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;It is not true that sex degrades women... if it is any good&quot; -Alan Partridge</font>"
tip[7] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.</font>"
tip[8] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.&quot; -Emo Phillips</font>"
tip[9] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;Chastity is curable, if detected early.</font>"
tip[10] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;The penis mightier than the sword.&quot; -Mark Twain</font>"
tip[11] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.</font>"
tip[12] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Sex is dirty only if it's done right.&quot; -Woody Allen</font>"
tip[13] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Sex-appeal is the keynote of our whole civilization.&quot; -Henri Bergson</font>"
tip[14] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;No sex is better than bad sex.&quot; -Germaine Greer</font>"
tip[15] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me.&quot; -Bette Midler</font>"
tip[16] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them.&quot; -Mae West</font>"  
tip[17] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;The art of lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.&quot; -Aristippus</font>"
tip[18] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;Proof is arbitrary... unless we're talking about sexual gratification.</font>"
tip[19] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.&quot; -William Shakespeare</font>"
tip[20] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;It's the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.&quot; -Tallulah Bankhead</font>"
tip[21] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Give me chastity and continence- but not yet.&quot; -Saint Augustine</font>"
tip[22] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;Play with each other. Play with yourselves.  Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.</font>"
tip[23] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now.</font>"
tip[24] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.&quot; -Groucho Marx</font>"
tip[25] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant.&quot; -Henry Miller</font>"
tip[26] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?&quot; -Bette Midler</font>"
tip[27] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.&quot; -George Carlin</font>"
tip[28] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;In the nineteenth century masturbation was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure.</font>"
tip[29] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.&quot; -S. J. Perelman</font>"
tip[30] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.&quot; -Joan Rivers</font>"
tip[31] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it.&quot; -Bette Davis</font>"
tip[32] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.&quot; -Sophia Loren</font>"
tip[33] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not really sure what it means.&quot;</font>"
tip[34] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.&quot;</font>"
tip[35] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;Sex multiplies the possibilities of desire.</font>"
tip[36] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Cunnilingus is next to godliness.&quot; -Kali Nichta</font>"
tip[37] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;The web is a dominatrix. Every where I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit.&quot; -Nytwind</font>"
tip[38] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.&quot; -Woody Allen</font>"
tip[39] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;The brain is viewed as an appendage of the genital glands.&quot; -Carl Jung</font>"
tip[40] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;My brain is my second favorite organ.&quot; -Woody Allen</font>"
tip[41] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Apparently one can temporarily sterilize oneself by heating one's organs in boiling water.&quot; -Annonymous British Teenager</font>"
tip[42] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;Some things are better than sex, some things are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.&quot; -W. C. Fields</font>"
tip[43] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;No one has ever died from an overdose of pornography.&quot; -J. Money and P. Tucker</font>"
tip[44] = "<font color=white>&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;It'll be a sad day for sexual liberation when the pornography addict has to settle for the real thing.&quot; -Brendan Francis</font>"
var show = Math.floor(Math.random() * (tip.length))
// -->