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Sex Myths
Skip down to: Unsolved myths | Males | Females | Homosexuality | Masturbation | Misc.

If you have a question about something you see here or feel you have something to contribute, feel free to write webmaster@sex-project.com.

Unsolved myths

The Venus Butterfly

The Venus Butterfly is hinted at as not being intercourse but can supposedly, when practiced, cause hour long orgasms, hundreds of orgasms and multiple contractions in both women and in men, among many other things. Is this myth just an old urban legend, or does it really exist?

It is my belief that the Venus Butterfly DOES NOT exist. Here's why: The only places you see saying anything at all about the "Venus Butterfly" or anything else you've probably not heard of are adult catologues, bookstores, TV channels, etc. that are trying to SELL you this supposed secret. No where else will you find any information about it all. Searching for this topic on the Internet will no doubt lead you to find only places where other people are asking, "What is the Venus Butterfly?" and not any useful information about it. In limited form, however, the venus butterfly may be a form of manual stimulation where the hands are used to stimulate the woman's anus, clitoris, and G-spot all at the same time. If you have anything to contribute to this myth, send it to the author.

Myths concerning males

Black men have naturally larger penises than white men.

This couldn't be further from the truth. Based on a number of surveys (most notably Masters and Johnson), of thousands of men of many different races, white males actually have the largest penises. White males averaged an erect penis length of 6.4" while black males averaged 6.2". Hispanic men averaged 6.0" and finally east Asian men bring up the rear with a meager 5.6" (Did you catch that pun?). Erect penis lengths are taken by measuring from the TOP of the penis, where it joins the body, to the tip of the head.

Men are always ready for sex, are instantly aroused and have great stamina.

While men may be said to constantly think about sex, they are hardly "ready upon demand." There may be a number of reasons why a man is unwilling or unable to have sex. Viagra comes to mind.

Men and women differ in many ways, both chemically and sexually, obviously. Their responses to sexual stimuli will vary greatly based on numerous factors.

Men have a higher sex drive, and therefore will be aroused more, lust more and need more.

Many renowned studies show that men and women share sex drives of equal or nearly-equal intensity. I would have thought women actually had higher drives- anyone who has ever observed a female in a high state of sexual arousal would probably agree!

Having a male withdraw his penis from a female's vagina before he ejaculates (coitus interruptus) is a good way to prevent pregnancy.

Withdrawal is not an effective way to prevent pregnancy. Even before ejaculation, the penis leaks semen that can contain thousands of sperm that can cause pregnancy. Withdrawing after any amount of unprotected intercourse carries the same risk of pregnancy. For more information please see our Contraception section.

A large penis is important for sexual enjoyment.

Penis size does not determine the sexual enjoyment of either a male or his sexual partner in most cases. Like men, women come in many shapes and sizes. Ultimately the satisfaction and enjoyment a woman derives from sexual activity will result from the total intimate experience rather than just the size of her man's dick. It should be noted that some women do prefer large penises. While this usually has nothing to with a belief that men with bigger penises have a larger capacity to sexually satisfy, it could mean they have larger vaginas that are better accomodated by a larger penis or maybe they just plain prefer big dicks. Naturally there may be some physical incompatibilities, but with time, communication, and effort these couples can learn to enjoy their experiences if they truly love one another.

Myths concerning females

You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.

This one isn't true. Some people believe you get a grace period when you first start having sex, kind of like the payment schedule on your credit card. The truth is, as long as a woman is biologically capable of getting pregnant, any act of unprotected intercourse, whether it be the first or the fortieth, can lead to a pregnancy. Some of these beliefs may stem from the myth that the female hymen can act as natural contraception until it is broken. It doesn't completely block the vaginal or cervical entrance even when it is intact, otherise menstrual fluids would not be able to pass through. Even if it did, it is easily broken during the first thrusting of intercourse and would make a poor contraceptive. Your best bet is to use some sort of protection every time you have intercourse unless you're planning to become pregnant.

A woman with no hymen or a broken hymen is not a virgin.

The hymen has historically been a marker of a woman's virginity. The belief that since the hymen blocked the vaginal opening, it should remain intact as long as a woman did not have sexual intercourse, was widely propagated especially in cultures where a woman's virginity was highly valued. If an unmarried woman's hymen was found to be separated, grave consequences could result, depending on each culture's customs, and included public humiliation, torture, and sometimes death.

However, the non-existence of a hymen or a broken hymen does not necessarily indicate that the woman isn't a virgin. A hymen cannot prove that a woman has had sexual intercourse, nor can it prove her virginity. While most women are born with a hymen, some are not. It can also be broken or torn during events completely unrelated to sexual intercourse: athletic or other strenuous activity, insertion of a tampon, masturbation, or for no apparent reason at all.

When "the cherry pops" (a virgin woman's hymen is torn during her first sexual intercourse) it makes a popping sound that can be heard.

This is completely untrue. While two bodies may produce suction pockets and release occasional fart-like noises during more active sex, the hymen itself will not make any such noise when it is broken. It is physically impossible.

If a woman cannot have an orgasm, there is something wrong with her.

The inability to have an orgasm is the number one sexual complaint among women in their twenties. It's common for a number of reasons. First, in order to have an orgasm, a woman has to be familiar with her body and her sexual response, and many women are not. Secondly, women may feel guilty about enjoying sex, tense about the experience of sex, or fearful of the loss of control an orgasm may bring. The good news is that most women can be taught (or can learn, through exploration and experience) to have orgasms. However, it is believed that female orgasm has been an adapted genetic ability that has been evolving for thousands of years, and some scientists insist that it is still evolving and thus not all women may be physically capable of orgasm. If this is true, exploring other sexually satisfying avenues may be necessary, however it doesn't mean at all that anything may be wrong with the woman at all.

Having sexual intercourse while standing up, urinating after intercourse or jumping up and down after intercourse will prevent pregnancy.

None of these activities prevent pregnancy or even increase your chances of avoiding pregnancy.

Myths concerning homosexuality

Anal sex sex between a man and a woman is a sign of homosexuality.

Many people who are exclusively heterosexual practice anal sex. Anal sex can be another form of sexual release and enjoyment for many couples. The bottom line is that many people are completely open with their partners, and usually they communicate well with each other and learn what they like to do with each other sexually.

You're a homosexual if you've had sex with, or even had a "sexy" dream about someone of the same sex.

Sex play with friends of either gender is common during the preadolescent and early adolescent years. So is having "sexy" dreams. This can continue through the adult years. These experiences should not be interpreted as proof of any long-term, adult sexual orientation. Remember, no one can change who you are sexually without your consent.

AIDS is a gay or homosexual disease.

Infection with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, is increasing more rapidly among heterosexuals than among homosexuals. Many people are being infected with HIV through sexual activity with someone of the opposite sex. AIDS is not exclusive or even prone to any specific demographic, race, gender, or age group.

Myths concerning masturbation

Masturbation can cause a number of physical and mental problems like warts, palm hair, pimples, acne, and insanity.

Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of life that is not harmful physically or psychologically. In fact, in most cases it is beneficial. When it does become harmful, often those individuals have underlying mental problems that are unrelated to their sexual practices.

Masturbation is restricted almost exclusively to males.

A large proportion of females, as well as males, enjoy masturbation. Recent surveys indicate between 80-85% of females over 18 have masturbated and about 90-95% of males over 18 have masturbated.

People in relationships never or shouldn't masturbate.

Masturbation, in terms of everyday conversation with other people, is generally a taboo subject. Fortunately however, in the last couple decades this taboo status has been lightened somewhat. Self-pleasuring might be tolerated for young single males but, in many cultures and socialized groups, it is frowned upon for young girls, and not even considered for married people or older single people.

Yet, the vast majority of people DO masturbate. Recent data reveals that 90-95% of men and 80-85% of women between the ages of 18 and 39 admit they masturbate. This only considers those who have admitted masturbating. Remember the nature of the subject in question. Many cynics add "Yeah, and the other X% lie!" Another survey shows that 66% of men and 47% of women in their fifties masturbate on a regular basis.

While no firm statistics are available on married persons masturbating, the professional literature claims that most married men and women still do it for a variety of reasons; professionals consider it normal behavior for married people. It can serve to lessen tension; to decrease sexual demands on a lower sex desire partner; it can be added as an alternative to a couple's sexual repertoire; and it can relieve sexual tension if one's partner is unavailable. Masturbating can also give you a feeling of being in control of your own sexual satisfaction without having to always rely on your partner.

Myths concerning miscellaneous topics

Being a great lover means being technically skilled.

Being a great lover can be a result of everything BUT being technically skilled. Making your partner feel loved, showing them that you love them, and making them feel great about the over-all love-making experience by a number of subtle and obvious signs can more than make up for technical inadequacies. The most important thing is mutual feelings of enjoyment and satisfaction. Communication is also extremely important.

Condoms don't work.

If used consistently and correctly, especially with the spermicide nonoxynol-9, latex condoms are up to 99.5% effective in preventing both pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. For more information check out our Condoms Guide or Contraception sections.

Old people don't or can't have sex.

Many older couples can and do enjoy sexual activity even into their 90's. If you don't believe this, visit a retirement village. They'll tell you! The only reason why an older male or female may find themselves incapable of sexual activity may be from not having had sex in many years, especially after the menopausal years. So goes the old saying, "use it or lose it!"

If you have a question about something you see here or feel you have something to contribute, feel free to write webmaster@sex-project.com.

Skip up to: Unsolved myths | Males | Females | Homosexuality | Masturbation | Misc.
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