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Self-Destruction
Written by Kalyandra

I swear, the amusement never stops! It's like a bad comedy, you don't know why you're watching but you can't wait to see what happens next. The sad thing is, I've been through all of this before. I know how this is going to end, like I'm having deja vu. For some reason that makes it even more funny!

It's not every day that any single person can provide you with hours of entertainment quite in this way. I simply can't believe it. There's no way I can clearly put it into words just how funny it is. I suppose you have to be there, or maybe be as weird and twisted as me, to understand it.

There are clearly recognizable steps to self-destruction, all clearly broken down:

Step 1: Become everything that you hate, twice over. The key here is to do it all yourself, and then blame it on others. If they tell you you're not being yourself, tell them that you are yourself, you're just your NEW self. Use the "you made me this way" tactic. It works every time.

Step 2: Deny everything under the sun, even the time of day if you feel the need, but especially your own faults. This is a must, that way they can't prove you wrong later because you simply won't hear them.

Step 3: Let apathy consume you. It really is your best friend here. I know it's hard, but if you pretend you don't care about anything, no one will notice that you're faking. Keep in mind that this is not foolproof, and the people that notice you're faking will think you're a complete ass. Either way, you win in the end because you've completed your primary objective.

Step 4: Push everyone you love away from you. This includes your significant other. ESPECIALLY your significant other. This can most easily be done by ignoring him/her for a few weeks. When they notice, and they WILL notice, tell them they're being retarded for feeling lonely and depressed. This will have one of the greatest effects you will ever witness.

Step 5: Be extremely emotionally abusive, and take your anger out on everyone you see. This is the most important step. They -will- call you on this, but you can blame it on the fact that you're such an "angst-filled" individual, that you've had a bad life, or that it's just the way you are. People will start turning away from you in anger, disgust, and/or pity.

Step 6: Congratulations, if you've made it this far, you've gotten to the best part! You suddenly feel free of stress and you get to have fun for a while without any of those pesky "caring" people to bring you down. You'll feel proud of yourself here. You are free of guilt and blame, and you dont have to deal with the responsibilities of making people happy. You're perhaps thinking that a positive life change is happening, but you don't yet grasp what you've gotten yourself into.

Step 7: This is the turning point, extremely critical timing is at work here. Eventually you'll realize that everyone you were close to suddenly hates your guts. No one really wants to hang out with you anymore. You become a recluse, hiding in your room or even under your desk, however, it's all their fault of course. What's their problem anyway?

Step 8: You start to rethink things a little. Maybe things in the past weren't as bad as you thought them to be, or maybe, just maybe, you were wrong. A lot. Then you think, "Naaaahhh..." Doubt will begin to grow in your mind, and it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger, until...

Step 9: This is the period in which I like to call "Oh shit I fucked myself!" It's a very interesting time in which you suddenly realize all of your mistakes and try to correct them. You figure out that Steps 1 through 5 were actually you, and you become horribly horribly sorry.

Step 10: Awash with self-pity and guilt, you go out into the world and try to find all the people you hurt along the way and try to repair the damage you did. Some of them will accept your apology, but the ones that you hurt the most will not. You find out they were the most precious to you in the past, but it's far too late now. You become weak with despair, and you crumble like an old building into a pathetic pile of rubble that was once your former self.

Self-Destruction complete.

I've seen this process a ton of times before. I LIVED through this process several years ago. It goes like this every single time. I can't describe how funny it is after the bazillionth time I've seen it. It makes you think about the human race doesn't it? What kind of emotional wrecks are we anyway?

The cold hard fact is that everyone goes through this process at least once. Some unfortunate individuals go through twice or more, and some never quite grasp the lessons that it teaches.

Quite unfortunate, but funny. ^_^
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